Death of a Soul
by ashbee
Summary: A/H occ. After everything I have been through I couldn’t believe he would be the one to hurt me.This is the story of how my soul was slowly withered away and my heart died.Rated M for Adult themes,drugs,and lemons possible.
1. Prologue

_**A/N: I am not S. Meyer I own nothing but the plot. I am really new at all of this and would take any feedback I could get. Well on with it.**___

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_**Death of a Soul**_

_I never thought this would be where I ended up. After everything I have been through I couldn't believe he would be the one to hurt me. I should have expected as much but as they say, love is blind. I have not been able to feel anything but numbness, I am sick and tired of it, and that is what has brought me back to what I am going to do. Sitting in the one place that brought peace to me when I needed it._

_I am Isabella Marie Swan but prefer Bella. I am not the most beautiful girl around with my brown hair and brown eyes; being short and at times clumsy did not help the matter either I was perfectly fine with being a plain Jane._

_Having my best friend by my side made even worse but never treated me like the others and I love him for that. Edward Anthony Cullen is my best friend and has been since Kindergarten when Mike Newton kept trying to pull my hair he was the only one to stick up for me and we have been inseparable ever since. There is nothing plain about him and every girl in school lets him know it. He is very tall with bronze hair, and absolutely the most gorgeous green eyes I have ever seen. His best quality would definitely have to be his kindness he was always a gentlemen opening doors and helping anyone who was in need._

_I do not know what I would do without him he was my rock. We did everything together weather it be good or bad. Who knew it took one wild night to change everything between us. I for one never thought that wanting to have fun and act like normal teenagers would get us into the mess we ended up in. If we would have stayed in Forks and went to Jessica's or one of Mike's parties I know we would have never did the things we did but, we went to a party in Seattle and it was the worst idea we ever had._

_As I look back, I don't think I could have changed the outcome because we were both so fucking determined to do anything and everything. And this is what slowly started to kill us both in mind, body, and soul. Nevertheless, the pain he caused my heart could never compare. This is the story of how my soul was slowly withered away and my heart died._

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**_A/N: This is more of an introduction so what do you think. Reviews are greatly appreciated._**

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	2. New Adventures

_**A/N: I am not S. Meyer and I own nothing but the plot. Thanks for all the story alerts. So on with it.**_

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_**New Adventures**_

_First day of summer and could you believe it was actually sunny. That is right it was sunny in Forks Washington. I couldn't be happier. Today would be the first of the many adventures Edward and I would go on. Of course, we would start simple and since it was a beautiful day what would be better than swimming. _

_I got my things that I would need for the week packed and double-checked not wanting to forget anything because tomorrow morning we were off to Seattle to stay with his cousin Emmett for the week. I heard a knock on my door and knew who it was instantly. And already knew we were heading out early because we usually got out of here as quick as we could and glad I was already packed._

"_Come on in Edward."_

"_Hey Bella"_

"_I still don't know why you still insist on knocking."_

"_Oh you know I don't want to sneak up on you is all. You ready to go?"_

"_Yep" making sure to pop the p. He picked up my bag and headed out to the car. Saying a quick goodbye to Charlie telling him, I would call and we were off._

_**Edward P.O.V.**_

_I could not be happier that summer was finally here and Bella was going to be coming with me to stay with Emmett for the week. This is going to be great I think there are a few things I haven't told Bella yet and I was just hoping she would be all right with it. I guess now is as good as time as any since we have about three hours ahead of us._

"_Bella I need to tell you a couple of things?" I was so nervous._

_She looked very intrigued, "Go ahead I am all ears." And just smiled._

"_We are going to be staying at Emmett's but he has a room mate now so we will have to share a room. I know that is no big deal seeing as we have sleep in the same room before I just wanted you to know. There is also going to be a party tonight that Emmett is throwing and I thought we could go and do the things most teenagers are suppose to do; you know just let loose and have fun. If you don't want to its no big deal if you want to do something else or to the" then she interrupted me._

_**Bella P.O.V.**_

"_Edward just stop I think it could be a lot of fun instead of being so serious all the time. I mean we are going to be seniors next year and we basically have no real life experience plus if Emmett is throwing the party, you know it is going to be a lot of fun. There is no way he would every let anything happen to us because Charlie would kill him and I do believe Carlisle and Esme would happily join him if something did occur. So quit worrying and lets have fun and I am not just talking about tonight I mean the whole summer. I will make you a deal if you want to try something no matter what it is I will do it to and the same goes for me we have always did everything together why stop now. I am really glad we are doing this and thank you for inviting me." Taking a look, he just smiled at me._

"_You got your self a deal Bella and don't be afraid to ask anything. Are you prepared to see Emmett because if not you better get ready will be at his place in ten minutes?"_

"_I am definitely ready I haven't seen him since Christmas and I miss my Emmy Bear." I tried to contain my laugh but I couldn't do it and Edward joined in before I knew it we were pulling into Emmett's. TO say I was shocked would be an understatement I did not know when he moved out of his apartment but his house looked perfect._

_The house had a dark brick with a very large front porch. Waiting on the front porch waiting for Emmett to answer I was looking around the yard and the next thing I knew I couldn't breathe._

"_Em can't breath."_

"_Sorry Belly" _

_Sitting me down, "That's okay Emmy so why didn't you tell me you moved? I am really surprised."_

"_I just wanted to surprise you so I told Edward not to tell you. I have only been here for two weeks. Come on in so I can show you the rest of the house." He said leading us in the house._

_The house suited him very well. The living room had a flat screen TV hung up on the wall surrounded by leather couches. The dining room was no surprise at all having it being empty except for a huge stereo system against the wall. Leading in to a medium size kitchen that I am sure would be very nice but every available counter was covered with several different liquor bottles and coolers sitting in the floor that I am sure was packed full of beer. Leading us back into the foyer and up the stairs to the bedrooms. I could seriously done with out seeing his. The floor was covered in clothes the bed was unmade and had a smell that I will not soon forget. He pointed to his roommate James' room and finally showed us the room Edward and I would be sharing._

_The room was quite large and thankfully clean with cream carpet. A king size bed sat in the center of the back wall with blue comforter set and was wrought iron and looked absolutely heavenly. A chest and dresser on the far wall and was nothing fancy but it would be all we would need. We had our own bathroom and I was thankful for that because I wouldn't want to imagine using the one Em and his roommate used. Nothing to fancy but it had a huge shower with two sprayers and a seat it had clear glass and was perfect. It reminded me of Edwards I assume Esme did some remolding I will have to ask about it later._

_Emmett brought me out of my thoughts. "So, what do you think?''_

"_Em it is perfect. What do you think Edward?"_

"_Emmett it is really great I can tell Esme did some work in this room?"_

"_Well of course she knew this would be you guys room when you came to stay and then next year when you go to College. She wanted somewhere you could always come to get away and be comfortable. She and mom did everything in here and will be glad you like it. Since this is your room now do what you want to it doesn't matter to me."_

"_Thanks Em I will definitely have to thank your mom and Esme it is absolutely perfect." Giving him my best smile, it was really perfect. Looking at Edward he had his smile that was slightly crooked and I knew he absolutely love it too._

"_If you two want you can go swim in the pool or you can do whatever but it is five now and the party will start at seven so just be ready by then and don't worry everyone knows they are not allowed up stairs so no one will be in here unless you invite them in. The only thing I ask you both is to stay away from James don't get me wrong he is great room mate and all but there are just some stuff he is involved with I don't want you two to get mixed up in. Alright?"_

_I was really confused by the last part so I did the only thing I could to sooth him, "Emmy Bear thank you for the advice but we can handle anything that comes our way and I bet this James guy knows better than to mess with us especially since you are like my big brother and no one messes with your lil sis." I walked to him and gave him a huge hug._

"_Yeah you're right Belly. I just am protective of you both and I do not want anything bad to happen to you especially when you are under my care. But, I have to go and get everything ready for the party. Let me know if either of you need anything and make sure to find me when you come down stairs." He let me go, hugged Edward, and left shutting our door._

_I walked to the bed and fell back just to relax. For a little while. _

_**Edward P.O.V.**_

_I sat our bags down, walked over to Bella, and laid down beside her turning my head to look at her._

"_So, what do you want to do? Swimming, Rest, or do you want to start getting ready?"_

"_Eddie I vote for rest. I say we lay here and figure out what we are going to do tonight so we can be regular teenagers. How about you?"_

"_I agree I want to just lay here. Regular teenagers huh?" I said just smirking at her. She nodded and had a slight blush on her cheeks. "Well what would regular teens do at a party?" I couldn't help but tease her._

"_Well Eddie I think regular people our age would dance and drink and let there guard down and just have fun. What do you think?"_

"_I think I can handle that I think we should have fun and think about the consequences tomorrow. You know though we are not as boring as you think we have done some stuff that no one would expect of us."_

_She raised an eyebrow, "What would that be?"_

"_Three months ago when my parents were gone you came over to stay the night. Do you remember?"_

"_Yes I remember." She was full on blushing now._

_I just smiled her favorite grin. "Bella don't be embarrassed. I still think it was a good thing that happened between us and it didn't change things between us and if I recall it has happened a few times since then too."_

_**Bella P.O.V.**_

_I know I was full on blushing but we never really talked about what happened that night. "I know we have really never discussed everything that happened between us and I know we should but it really has taken me a while to get comfortable. Therefore, I am willing to talk about it now if you want to. Is that what you want to do?''_

"_Bella I think we should just so it is out there."_

_I sat up Indian style and he did the same so we could look at each other during this really awkward as hell moment._

"_I know it was my idea I just was shocked that you agreed with me. I don't think I would have been as comfortable with anyone else to take my virginity. The whole time you were just perfect with me. You treated me so special and were very gentle and I know you felt bad when you had to hurt me and push through my barrier but it was worth the pain for the pleasure." I was completely embarrassed now and am sure I am whole new shade of red. I looked down at my hands hoping he would say something now because I was too embarrassed to continue and truthfully the only reason I wanted to avoid this conversation._

"_Bella look at me." _

_I just shook my head._

"_Bella look at me."_

"_No" I whispered out._

"_Isabella please look at me." He spoke so softly placing his fingers under my chin and raised my head to meet my eyes._

"_There is absolutely nothing to be inbarassed embarrassed about. You know I may have taken your virtue but you also took mine and I would not have it any other way. I am sorry I hurt you but I am glad you had pleasure." He had a huge smile and continued. "I believe you enjoy yourself the other times also."_

_I knew it was time I had to end this conversation before anyone could over hear us. "Edward I won't deny that I enjoyed myself every time. Nevertheless, I really think we shouldn't do it again. Not because I didn't enjoy it because I did I just believe we are friends and I don't want sex to ruin what we have and really should be done with people who are involved in a relationship and not just friendship. I don't want to turn into as Jessica says friends with benefits. Does that make since?"_

_**Edward P.O.V.**_

"_Yeah it makes since and I would never want to ruin what we have so we will stop. You know it is already six we should probably start getting ready."_

_She smiled at me even though it did not reach her eyes, "Yeah you are right I don't want Emmett dragging us downstairs in the clothes we have on and I could really use a shower."_

"_Emmett would totally drag us down there kicking and screaming so go ahead and hop in the shower and get ready. I will just unpack and hop in when you're done."_

"_Sounds good and Edward thank you for being you." She grabbed her clothes and bathroom bag and went into the bathroom._

_I hope we are ready for this party because I am sure it will be interesting to say the least. Grabbing my bag getting my ipod and ihome out plugging it up to listen to pressing shuffle and began to unpack my bag._

_**Bella P.O.V.**_

_I was putting on a little make-up when I heard the music and I couldn't help but laugh. If Edward did not have anything else but his ipod, he would be completely happy. Cleaning my mess up I opened the door when the song changed. I was about to tell Edward I was done but he started to dance and I just had to watch._

_**Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road**_

_**Time grabs you be the wrist, directs you where to go.**_

_**So make the of this test, and don't ask why.**_

_**It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.**_

_**It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.**_

_**I hope you had the time of your life.**_

_I walked out and put my stuff down by the bed. He still hadn't noticed me and was rocking from side to side with the beat. I knew he was about to start singing it never failed and hoped he wouldn't disappoint._

_**So take the photographs, and still-frames in your mind.**_

_**Hang it on the shelf of good health and good time.**_

_**Tattoo's of memories and dead skin on trial.**_

_**For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.**_

_**It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.**_

_**I hope you had the time of your life.**_

_He still hadn't notice but I figured I would jump in and sing the last verse with him._

_**It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right**_

_**I hope you had the time of your life.**_

_**It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.**_

_**I hope you had the time of your life.**_

"_So, how long have you been watching?"_

"_Oh, just since it started. It was funny you getting so into it. Getting into the party mood?"_

"_I guess I just wanted to relax a little and music always relaxes me you know that."_

"_Yeah, I know. Now go get ready so Emmett doesn't come pull you out naked down to the party even though I think that would be hilarious but I don't think you would appreciate it much."_

"_I am going." He grabbed his things heading to the bathroom before shutting the door. "Bella?"_

"_Yeah" _

"_You look really beautiful." He shut the door._

_He always knew how to make me feel comfortable and I was glad of that. We were both being thrown into this and not really sure what to do or even what to expect but I was glad he approved of my outfit. I wasn't anything to write home about but I did my best. I put on my blue jean skirt that went to mid thigh, a white tank top with a blue butterfly, blue ballet shoes, I curled my hair in loose curls just to give my hair some shape, Lip gloss, mascara, and eye shadow like I said nothing fancy. I turned and watched Edward come out and he looked like the god he is with blue jeans that were ripped at the knee and faded, a green shirt that brought his eyes out even more, chuck tailors, and his hair messy as always he was absolutely perfect._

"_You ready to get this party started?"_

"_As ready as I am ever going to be Eddie. I kind of had an idea."_

"_What would that be?"_

"_Well I thought we could do everything that anyone my offer excluding sex of course I don't want to even imagine someone coming straight out and asking me and saying well since you offered lets go."_

_We were both just laughing. "Okay I agree will try everything but no sex. I can handle that. Shall we?"_

"_We shall." Linking arms walking toward a new adventure that we were hopefully prepared for._

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**A/N: I know it starts off slow but I have to set up a couple of things before I can really get into the heavyness of what is to come. Reveiws would be great and would get chapter 3 up quicker. Also, if there is anything you would like to see happen in my story let me know it might just make it's way in. Thanks for reading and remember to Review even if it just to say good job or you suck either way.**


	3. The Party

_**A/N: I am not S. Meyer I don't own twilight just the plot and things you don't recognize.**_

**_On with it._**

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**_The Party_**

_Making our way to the kitchen knowing that is where Emmet would. I could not believe how many people were here and the music could be heard through out the whole house. I knew it would end up becoming very wild. _

"_Hey Emmett, quite a party you got here?" I said smiling at him. I could tell he had been drinking for a while._

"_Belly and Eduardo about time you make an appearance. I was about to come and drag you two down here."_

_Edward and I looked at each other and laughed._

"_You two have fun tonight and if you need anything just let me know I will be around here somewhere." Em handing us a drink. "Remember what I said earlier and don't drink anything unless you know where it comes from because I don't know everyone here. Just have fun and live a little and relax."_

"_Thanks Emmett. We will see you later." Edward said pulling me out of the kitchen._

_Sitting on one of the couches drinking our drinks, that Em gave us, which was stout. I was only half way through and was feeling really good looking at Edward I could tell he was doing the same._

"_Bella lets dance?" Edward said standing up pulling me with him._

"_Since it doesn't look like I have a choice why not. This should be interesting." Downing the rest of our drinks setting our cups down. Edward grabbing my hand pulling me to the dining room where everyone else was dancing._

_Starting to dance as the song ended, I noticed Emmett headed for his sound summit stopping the music getting everyone's attention._

"_I just wanted to thank you all for coming to my party tonight and I want to introduce a couple of important people to me. Edward and Bella treat them good or answer to me. On a happier note, everyone get up stand up because we are dancing. I had better see everyone dancing to. Em came to stand by me with Edward on my other side. "You are going to like this."_

_Looking at Edward, "You have got to be fucking kidding me?''_

"_Bella only Emmett would do this it should be fun."_

_I can't believe I am about to do this. I just hope no injury is in store._

_**This time we're gonna get funky (funky)**_

Everybody clap your hands  
Clap clap clap clap your hands  
Clap clap clap clap your hands

Alright we gonna do the basic steps  
To the left  
Take it back now y'all  
One hop this time  
Right foot lets stomp  
Left foot lets stomp  
Cha cha real smooth

Turn it out

To the left  
Take it back now y'all  
One hop this time  
Right foot lets stomp  
Left foot lets stomp  
Cha cha now y'all

Last time to get funky

To the right now  
To the left  
Take it back now y'all  
One hop this time, one hop this time  
Right foot two stomps  
Left foot two stomps  
Slide to the left  
Slide to the right  
Criss cross, criss cross  
Cha cha real smooth

_I was laughing as hard as was Edward and Emmett because about 30 people dropped to the floor trying to do the criss cross another positive I was not one of them._

**Lets go to work**

**To the left  
Take it back now y'all  
Two hops this time, two hops this time  
Right foot two stomps  
Left foot two stomps  
Hands on your knees, hands on your knees**

**Get funky with it**

**Ooooooooh yeah (come on)  
Cha cha now y'all**

I have never had as much fun and Edward seemed to be enjoying his self.

**Turn it out  
To the left  
Take it back now y'all  
Five hops this time  
Right foot lets stomp  
Left foot lets stomp  
Right foot again  
Left foot again  
Right foot lets stomp  
Left foot lets stomp  
FREEEZE**

**Everybody clap your hands  
(Come on y'all) (Check it out y'all)  
How low can you go?  
Can you go down low?  
All the way to the floor  
How low can you go?  
Can you bring it to the top?  
Like you never never stop?  
Can you bring it to the top, one hop**

**Right foot now  
Left foot now y'all  
Cha cha real smooth**

**Turn it out  
To the left  
Take it back now y'all  
One hop this time  
One hop this time  
Reverse (reverse)  
Slide to the left  
Slide to the right  
Reverse, reverse  
Reverse, reverse**

**Cha cha now y'all, cha cha again  
Cha cha now y'all, cha cha again**

**Turn it out  
To the left  
Take it back now y'all  
Two hops two hops  
Two hops two hops  
Right foot lets stomp  
left foot let stomp  
Charlie brown  
Hop it out now**

**Slide to the right  
Slide to the left  
Take it back now y'all  
Cha cha now y'all**

**Oooh yeah mmm, yeah do that stuff oooh yeah I'm out y'all peace!**

_I was nearly Rolling on the floor if Edward wouldn't have had a hold of me I knew _I would have been. "Em, thank you for that I don't believe I have ever been so entertained. I truly bow down to the master."

"Hey it is not nice to tease."

"Yeah, Yeah, I know. Well I think I am going to get a drink and head upstairs."

Edward looked at me, "I think I am going to head up to."

"Bella Eddie you want a piece of candy first?"

"Sure" I took two pieces from Em giving one to Edward.

We walked in the kitchen got a bottle of tequila and a few waters heading up stairs. We were sitting on the bed with almost half the bottle of tequila left and was starting to feel weird. I was starting feel hot and I did not give a fuck at this moment. Taking my shoes off and ripping my clothes off sitting on the bed with just my white boy shorts.

"Edward" I whispered out my voice sounding very husky.

"Uh Y. Y. Yeah" he had a little blush on his cheeks.

"If you are hot you can take your clothes off too." He started tearing his clothing off before even finishing the sentence.

"I guess you were hot then." Looking at him up under my lashes, I could help the way he was making me feel and I was determined not to have sex with him again. I certainly did not plan to tell him how I feel about him but alcohol in my system and was feeling excited fuck who am I kidding I am Horney as hell and have no idea why. "Do you think maybe one day you might like me more than a friend? I am sorry I don't know where that comes from" I couldn't look at him anymore he still had not said anything I felt the tears flow down my face. Feeling like forever I could not take the quite anymore getting up.

"Bella" he spoke so quietly I thought I imagined it.

I could feel the my sobs start to wrack my body making it to the bathroom shutting the door sliding down the wall to the floor my sobbing just got worse. I am so stupid he is never going to want to be around me ever again.

"Bella?"

Getting control of my crying pulling my knees up trying to protect my self from the rejection that I knew was coming.

"Bella, look at me." He said softly.

"Edward just leave me alone for awhile. I know we are just friends and I am fine with that and I understand if you don't…"

He bent down and lifted my chin and I shut my eyes I could not stand to think about the look of pity that he would certainly have.

"Isabella, please open your eyes." It was spoken so sweetly.

I almost gave in almost. "I can't," I whimpered.

I could here the pain in his voice. "Fine then just listen to me."

I nodded still unable to open my eyes.

"I don't think I could like you more than a friend. I love you as my friend. Isabella open your eyes for me I hate that I can't see them."

I opened them holding back tears I just knew he was going to tell me that it would be best for us to go our separate ways.

He slowly took a deep breath, "Isabella I could never just like you again because I am in love with you. I have bee in love with you since March. I have loved you as a friend for as long as I can remember but that all changed with that first kiss it felt like I was complete and when we are not together my heartaches for you. I would do anything for you."

I could hear the sincerity in his voice and nothing but love in his eyes. Happy tears were now flowing down my face. I cannot believe this man feels the same way about me as I do him. "Edward, I love you too."

He cupped my face and kisses my tears away moving to my mouth he gave me the sweetest kiss and couldn't believe how perfectly his lips molded to mine. Pulling away just looking into each other's eyes slowly leaning in his lips connected with mine. It was just as sweet but I wanted more and needed more. Wrapping my arms around his neck pulling him down to me escalating the kiss. He traced his tongue on my bottom lip. The moan I couldn't stop not that I wanted too. Edward took my open invitation and started massaging my tongue with his. Feeling my lungs start to burn he slowed the kiss down and pulled away both of our chests heaving up and down.

Edward took my hands from his neck, stood pulling me with him pushing me against the wall, and kissed me with everything he had and I did the same. We were in heavy make out session when he pulled away from me.

"Love, I think it is bedtime now. I want to do this right like dates and stuff and I know we have already been together in the most of intimate ways. I want to treat my girlfriend the way she should be treated, okay." He had the biggest smile on his face.

"I would like that very much boyfriend who I am irrevocably in love with."

Making our way to the bed crawling in laying down laying my head on his shoulder draping my arm across his torso as he pulled me too him while covering us up.

"Good night my Bella. I love you."

"Sweet Dreams as I love you Edward."

Snuggling into each other.

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**_A/N: Thanks for reading._**

**_If you would like to see something happen let me know just a few more chapters and the drama will certainly commence._**

**_Review please I can use all the input I can get thanks._**


	4. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**_Author's Note_**

Just want to let everyone know I am putting this on hold until I get Friends and Turmoil done. Check that story out. As soon as I am finished I will continue on with this.

Thanks for reading.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I own nothing but the plot!**

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We returned home as a couple and our parents could not have been happier. We still kept our promise to try everything we wanted and some things we just wanted to be able to say been there tried that. It started innocent enough with drinking but besides that time at Emmett's we really did not delve to big into drugs.

Well that soon changed. We were down at the beach just hanging out and enjoying the party that was being held. We both tried pot. Eh no big deal basically gave me perm grin no biggie. We experimented with this for a while just enjoying it but I got tired of it and didn't want to do it anymore. I let Edward know I did not care if he continued but I had my fun and was happy just to be with him.

School started back up and everything started to slowly change not between Edward and my relationship, which was actually getting better but in the friends, he was hanging with. They were most would call the stoners but as long as he was happy I was happy.

On the night of the first football game, we went to the after party and just hung out with everyone. I left Edward sitting by the fire and went to talk to Angela since we have been neglecting our friendship a tad.

"So, Ang how has it been?"

"Bella, I am great and I know what you are doing?"

"What am I doing?" I asked her totally confused.

"I just want you know it is not a big deal and I am thrilled you and Edward are finally together. If you ask me, it is about damn time. However, I mean with the experimenting you guys have been doing. Even Ben and I have tried a few things. I just want you to be careful and don't get in over your head."

"Angela don't worry about me I am done with all the experimenting it was fun but I am done. Nevertheless, thank you for your concern I knew we were friends for a reason. I think I am going to try to find Edward. We need to get together soon and do something."

"Okay but just be careful," Angela said as I walked away.

I wished I had headed her warning but hindsight is 20/20.

I walked all around the house and still could not find Edward. There was only one place to look and that was upstairs. I made my way upstairs and to the only shut door. I heard several voices I opened the door and I could not believe my eyes.

There Edward sat on a couch against the wall with a girl named Tanya on one side and Lauren on the other with Jessica in the floor watching intently with Tyler and Mike sitting across from them. I could care less about the girls and their close proximity to my man. I was shocked to see Edward's sleeve rolled up, his arm tied off, and watching him push the plunger of the syringe. I am not sure how long I stood there but no one noticed me I slowly backed out of the room and got out of the house as quick as I could. I could not breathe in there and I needed to think.

WHAT THE FUCK DID HE JUST DO! What in the hell am I suppose to do. Since I did not have the slightest clue, I pulled out my cell and called the only person who might know what to do.

"Emmett that god you answered." I half yelled at him.

"Belly is you okay?" Emmett sounded concerned.

"No, yes, no, Fuck I don't know." I started to loose it I was so scared.

"Bella, where is Edward?"

"Fuck Em that is why I am calling you."

"Is he okay? Bella what happened."

"Em, I think he is fine and I am not really sure what has happened."

"First take a breath, then start at the beginning and we will figure everything out." Emmett sounded so calm I just wonder how long that will last.

Taking a deep breath, "Em, you know after your party we started to experiment with different things. Well, I have not been doing that stuff for a while but Edward has and it has not bothered me. You know just some pot here and coke there nothing to serious. Well, we are at this party right now and I left to talk to Ang for a bit. When I came back, he was gone so I looked for him. I finally found him upstairs with some girl named Tanya, Tyler, Lauren, Jessica, and Mike and when I walked in no one noticed me but Fuck I watched Edward Fucking shoot up and it scared the shit out of me and I had to get out of there so I am sitting on the porch talking to you. Em please fucking tell what to do about this shit I don't know if this is his first time doing this or not but he really seemed to know what he was doing. Fuck Em pleases help me I can't loose him." I was sobbing now.

"Listen Bella, I know this sounds bad but you need to pull yourself together get up off your ass go in there and get him and you two go home and talk about this and if this is a serious problem then we will deal with it then but don't get ahead of yourself yet."

"Okay, Thanks Em, Love you."

"Love you too bells just remember I will always be here when you need me."

With that, I hung up wiping my face marched in the house upstairs. Edward was still sitting there with everyone. Bella you can do this.

"Edward, I am ready to go.'' I said my voice shaking the whole time.

"Sure Bella" he got up and moved to me.

I received some hateful looks from Tanya.

The car ride was silent. Edward's parents were out of town and I was staying with him. I was now very happy that I had my own room because I knew this could get bad quick.

Walking in the house and flipped the living room light on by the time I turned around to face Edward. He had pushed me up against the wall and was kissing me like this was our last kiss. Pulling all my strength I had I pushed him away.

"Edward stop we need to talk"

"Fuck Bella what in the hell do you want to talk about right now."

Did he just seriously yell at me oh hell no.

"What the Fuck do I want to talk about? How about what the Fuck you were doing in that room!"

"I was not doing anything we were all just hanging out. Are you jealous of those girls because you have no fucking reason to be."

"Edward I FUCKING SAW WHAT YOU DID!!" I was screaming at him.

"Bella just calm down. I was just having some fun no big deal.''

Okay he wants to do it this way then fine. "Okay Edward I am really glad you had fun." I turned around went up the stairs a few steps from my room I felt him behind me.

"What are you doing Bella?"

"I am going to bed."

"The hell you are."

Edward grabbed me and turned me to face him. "What is wrong?"

"Edward are you seriously asking me that?"

"Yes, now tell me."

"Edward I have never been so fucking scared in my life when I saw you push that plunger I felt like apart of me died. I did not think it went so far. Please tell me the fucking truth that wasn't the first time was it?" I could feel the tears roll down my cheeks.

Letting me go, "No it was not my first time."

I could not contain the gasp that escaped me. "How long?"

"God Bella I don't know what your fucking deal this was your idea and you said you didn't care."

"Please tell me?"

"Two months"

"Son of a Bitch. How could you not tell me? This affects me too you know."

"No it doesn't affect you and I didn't think it concerned you to be honest."

"Okay it doesn't concern me. All right if that is how you feel I am done with you. I can't do this anymore." I was all out sobbing now and took off to my room as quickly as I could.

"Bella stop!" Edward yelled.

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**A/N: Okay Reveiws would be awesome. Anywho sorry about taking so long school just ended and I will be starting back again in a few days so I will try to post when I can sorry bout taking so long again.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I own nothing but the plot.**

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I stepped in the room and slammed the door how could he do this.

"Bella what the fuck do you think you are doing."

"Edward I am done we are done. So just, leave so I can go to sleep and forget everything about you. "

"NO!" He yelled.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM! YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME!"

"Nothing to you huh?" he said taking a step toward me.

"YES!" Taking a step back.

Edward continued toward me until my knees hit the edge of the bed knocking my feet from under me Edward kept coming toward me. I was scooting up trying to get away from him. Edward crawled on the bed grabbing my ankle and pulled me down to him. I began punch him in the chest.

"Stop Bella"

"No get off."

Edward grabbed my hands placing it in one of his above my head.

"I am nothing to you."

"Yes nothing"

"I don't agree." He began rubbing his hand up my bare thigh as I was in the process of putting pajamas on. His hand ghosted over my stomach and up my chest. Fuck, he knew how to play me. It was taking everything I had not to move or moan to let him know the effect he had on me.

"Fuck you!" I yelled at him.

He leaned down close to my ear. "Oh, I plan too." He whispered.

That son of a bitch he was going to kill me.

Edward began kissing me below my ear "ugh" fuck he knew exactly what to do.

"Edward please stop." I whimpered.

"I can't. You can't leave me." Edward whispered letting go of me and standing up. Turning his back to me with his shoulders hunched.

I sat at the end of the bed. "Edward, I am sorry but I can't be with you anymore."

"Bella I will die if you are not with me. You said you didn't care. You said you didn't fucking care what changed?"

I got up and faced Edward I could see the tears falling down his cheeks. He was killing me I could not stand him like this it really broke me. "Please don't say that. I know I said I didn't care but not this. I can't watch you destroy yourself this way. Shit Edward I don't want to do this but I really don't have another choice. It would kill me to watch you slowly kill yourself this way. I love you so fucking much but this is the only way I can see this happening." I was crying trying to keep myself from full out sobbing.

Edward placed his hands on my face. "I promise I am done with all of this shit if that means I can keep you. You are the most important thing in my life. I love you." He whipped the tears from my cheeks.

"Promise" I barely whispered.

"Promise" Edward said looking in my eyes.

I felt he was being truthful with me.

Wrapping my arms around his neck pulling him to me, I crashed our lips together causing a simultaneous moan from both of us. Licking his bottom lip asking for entrance, which he eagerly allowed me. Both fighting for dominance. Before long, all clothes were gone and I found myself pushed against the wall. I knew this would be anything but sweet or gentle.

Edward pulled away from the kiss and turned my where my back was facing him.

"Brace yourself love" Edward said without warning thrusted fully into me.

"Holy shit!" I screamed.

Edward grabbed my hips and thrusted with abandon.

"Bella don't ever do that shit to me again." Edward grunted out.

"Oh ugh I mmm won't. Fuck Edward harder. Oh god I am so fucking close."

"Isabella I don't think god has anything to do with what I am doing to you right now."

Just as I was about to cum Edward pulled out of me completely.

"You have got to be shitting me. You better fucking finished what you started." Before I could finish my rant, he threw me on the bed. Fuck me I think I like this Edward. He opened my legs up and dived straight in. Tongue fucking me with one final flick of my clit with his thumb I came so hard without being able to come down Edward thrust into me pulling nearly all the way out before thrusting back in. Grabbing my legs and placing them on his shoulders.

"Bella, fuck so tight. You were willing to give all this up."

"Oh Hell No! Fuck me Edward, Fuck me hard!" I yelled at him.

Not another word was said between us. Both of us were pouring the sweat. Gathering all my strength, I pulled my legs down and flipped us over. No reason for him to do all the work. Placing my hands on his chest for balance. I began fucking him hard and fast.

"Ugh, so big."

Edward grabbed my hips and began guiding me faster. God was he trying to kill me. He was rocking the man in the little boat and I could feel man about to flip over.

"EEEEDDDWWWAAARRRDDDDDDD!" I screamed as my orgasms rocked through me.

Edward yelled my name as he came right after me. Both riding out our orgasms. Edward pulled out of me and pulled me into his side.

"Isabella I am so sorry for everything but you can't leave me. God, if you did I don't know what I would do."

"I promise to be here as long as you stop doing drugs. However, if you don't I am gone. I can promise you that."

"I understand"

We stayed up talking all night working out everything. All I can do is hope for the best and only time will tell.

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**A/N: I wrote this really quick so it probably sucks. oh well reveiws are appreciated.**


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